Save Waipio Soccer Complex from Conversion into a Landfill

The Waipio Soccer Complex officially opened on September 2, 2000. At the time, it cost $12.5 million to complete. The complex sits on 288 acres, and serves roughly 30,000 soccer players on Oahu. This figure does not include the numerous teams and players who come from outside of Oahu to play.

Today, the complex is the frontrunner for land to be converted into a landfill. This facility is used by thousands of players on a weekly basis. Children and adults play here, and many family and friends come to watch them play. I cannot believe our politicians see this complex that took years to build as the best option for a new landfill. The Waipio Soccer Complex remains the first and only one of its kind in the State of Hawaii.

Numerous tournaments are played here. College and high school teams play here. Taika Waititi even filmed part of his wildly popular film NEXT GOAL WINS here. If the state converts the fields into a landfill, there will be nothing to take its place. The mayor, along with a few others, have suggested building a new place to play, but I doubt their intentions. A new complex would cost around $40 million dollars, plus would likely not be complete for at least 10 years. Considering the way things have turned out with the rail system and Aloha Stadium, it's likely a new complex will never come.

Taking away something that benefits thousands of the children and teens in Hawaii does not make sense either. It is clear that violent crime and drug use have increased exponentially over the last few years. Research has shown that team sports helps young people to stay away from many of these dangers. Their teams are a safe haven, and the complex serves as a giant safe haven. To take away a safe place for our young people to play, learn, and grow would be irresponsible.

Now, how can you help? At this current stage, there isn't much to be done except to raise awareness and show how many people oppose conversion to a landfill. One of the ways is through the petition linked below. Please sign and share the link with everyone you know. It currently has over 20,000 signatures, though I suspect we will need around 100,000 to make any impact. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you to everyone who signs and shares or even just shares this petition!

Link: https://www.change.org/p/save-the-waipio-soccer-complex-from-conversion-into-a-landfill

Struggling with a Loss

On October 23 my friend Franco passed away. I have been struggling with processing this loss. We were really close from around our middle school years until around our early twenties. We didn't have a falling out. We mostly just lost touch of each other over the years. Our interactions eventually became a few messages here and there on social media.

I'm having issues with processing this loss because I feel like I don't deserve to mourn his loss. We have mutual friends who were closer to him in later years. I feel like they earned the right to mourn him more than I did. It sounds odd, I know. It feels odd for me as well. I feel huge sadness, but at the same time, I feel like: do I deserve to feel sad?

Recently, a friend of mine from that time whom I am closer to now called to see if I was okay after learning Franco passed away. He said, "I know you two were close." I remember replying something like that we were close when we were younger, but not so much recently. He said something in response that I'm still thinking over nearly a week and a half later, "That doesn't take away from the fact that you were friends. Everything you guys went through together still happened."

I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm still trying to make sense of things myself. I suppose it all comes down to this: How do I honor my friend, without feeling like I am overstepping? Not sure I'll ever get an answer. I'll update this post at a later time if I ever figure things out.

988 - Help is available

Trigger Warning: Suicide 

For those of you who didn't know, last week was National Suicide Prevention Week. This has always been a touchy subject for me. I have had the misfortune of knowing quite a few people who tragically took their own lives since my teen years. As I got older, this number has shrunk, but unfortunately, has not completely gone away. I was reminded of this fact just today.

Like many previous years, this year I have been supporting the efforts to raise awareness about this subject in my community. I am absolutely in awe of the work being done by One FC Champion Angela Lee through her non-profit Fightstory. There are a many others who are also doing great work. Sometimes I wonder if supporting the various non-profits and such is enough, and then days like today remind me that this fight is far from over.

I was just informed that my wife's coworker and friend took her own life this morning. Due to the nature of their work, I cannot give her name or what she did. I can say that she was a bright, wonderful, and caring young woman. She had just moved, and was moving up in the world in her work. It seemed like she had everything going for her. I honestly cannot think of a time when I saw her not smiling. But that's just it, isn't it? We never really know what's going on in someone's life. We never really know what they are thinking. We never fully know what anyone is going through.

I just want to take a moment to say if this is you, please talk to someone. If you’re struggling, I want you to know it’s okay to share your feelings. To start, you could copy one of these pre-written messages from the International Association of Suicide Prevention and send it to a trusted contact:

Reach out: When you get a chance can you contact me? I feel really alone and suicidal, and could use some support.

Contact a loved one: I don’t want to die, but I don't know how to live. Talking with you may help me feel safe. Are you free to talk?

Express your feelings: This is really hard for me to say but I’m having painful thoughts and it might help to talk. Are you free?

Check in: I’m struggling right now and just need to talk to someone — can we chat?

I promise I would rather receive any of these messages instead of a message to tell me another person is gone. You could also call/text/message the suicide lifeline. Please talk to someone. Seek help. The world is a better place with you in it. You are enough. You matter. I love you. There are better days coming. It may not seem like it now, but tomorrow is a new day, with new possibilities. Please hold on.

Skateboarding Saved My Son’s Mental Health

Like many people around the world, the last couple of years has been difficult for my family and I. 2020 was filled with fear and uncertainty. 2021 brought some sense of normalcy back, but social distancing, masking, and other measures still took a toll.

Through all of this I thought my children were doing quite well. They were both able to attend school in-person. My older son was still playing competitive sports. It never occurred to me to check on my younger son’s mental health. He seemed okay most of the time. He spent a lot of time watching YouTube and playing video games, but I didn’t think anything was unusual.

Near the end of 2021 and beginning of 2022, I started to notice a massive change. He pretty much stopped talking, except for one word answers here and there. He began to become more withdrawn. He went from spending some of his time watching videos and playing video games to spending all of his time doing those things. A lot of unfortunate things happened in our community as well. Young people were taking their own lives with alarming frequency, and much of the discussion among many parents was now focused exclusively on mental health. Still, I thought my child was perfectly fine, until I could feel in the depths of my soul that he most definitely was not.

I thought helping him find his “thing” would help him a lot, but we had the worst time finding out what his thing was. He didn’t enjoy sports like his brother. He’s much more introverted as well. He had friends, but he didn’t like to play with them for more than a few minutes at a time. He would play with his cousins sometimes, but then withdraw again shortly after. Art was his thing for a while, but that went to pieces during the pandemic. Then one day I mentioned to him that I used to skateboard when I was his age.

My neighbor taught me to ride a skateboard back in the day. He even gave me my first real board. In those days, skateboarding was pretty much considered a crime, at least that’s how it was in our town. Skateboarders were punks and misfits. My parents hated that I was a skater — though, to be quite honest, I was not a very good skater at all. I did fit the part and dress the part well, and my friends were accepting of the fact that I was not as good as them.

Anyway, my son took an interest in these stories. Skateboarding drew a look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen in months. My older son had a cheap skateboard that he never used, so he let his brother use it. We started the way I did as a kid: riding down the short driveway in front of our house. The first time he rode all the way down without falling was amazing. His eyes lit up, he smiled, and I saw his personality shine through once again.

Skateboarding brought joy back to his life, and now he skates every day. I recently bought him a better board, helmet, and pads. We started visiting the local skatepark every weekend. He stays out there for hours at a time. He’s learning to do tricks and ride in ways that I couldn’t even imagine as a kid. After only a few months, he’s already better than I ever was, and he’s only getting better. It really is an amazing thing. I have seen him change completely from where he was just a little while ago. He has much fewer down days. He is way more social and everything in his life is showing improvement. We owe it all to skateboarding. I will never look at skaters and skateboards the same again.

A Different Kind of Celebration of Life

About a week ago, a friend of mine called and asked me to come to his father’s celebration of life. My heart sank at those words. The term celebration of life is normally used to describe an event held to honor the life of someone who has passed away. However, in this case, his father is incredibly ill but very much alive. He said he wanted to throw a huge party and give everyone the chance to show their love and appreciation for his father while he is alive — I suppose you could call it a pre-celebration of life.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was one of the most beautiful events I have ever been to. Hundreds of people came out to join us. I’m not surprised so many people came out to be a part of this different type of celebration of life. Uncle Nunu is a beloved member of the community. He has touched the lives of countless people over the last 80 years of his life. His children have also touched the lives of many others. It seemed like everyone who ever had the privilege of knowing this family in any way showed up yesterday.

Many of them came to speak with Uncle Nunu one more time. Many, like me, hadn’t seen him over the last couple of years as much we would have liked. Many of us took the time to show love and appreciation for someone who has done so much for everybody, without ever asking for anything in return. Of course, like any party my friend has ever thrown, it was huge. There was a ton of food and live music playing. It was everything a celebration of life should be, and so much more.

A celebration of life for a living person turned out to be an exceptionally fitting event for a person who has always told us this one particular thing for as long as I can remember. He has always said to not just love everyone, but be sure to tell the people in your life that you love them every day. If you give love and show love every day, you get to live a little piece of heaven every day. It will be beautiful, and you can live a little piece of heaven every day of your life. Love everyone while they are here, and make sure you show them.

Invest Your Time in Things that have Eternal Significance

Recently, I had the chance to talk with an old friend of mine. I had mentioned on social media how we should Invest our time in things that have eternal significance. Her question was: What has eternal significance? In her experience, everything is temporary. It was a great question, so I thought I would talk a little about it here.

I believe in life after this one, which has eternal significance. However, even for people who don't believe as I do, there are still things that have eternal significance. The results of our actions in this life can last long past when we are no longer here. The things we say and do carry a lot of weight. Life is definitely temporary, but the world will continue on long after you and I am gone. I hope that I am leaving people and places in a better way than when I found them. The things we do in this life, the things we invest most of our time in, will have a lasting impact on future generations. I think that's pretty significant.

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself...No Exceptions

When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus said, "The most important one is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.^' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."(Mark 12: 29-31) Simple, right?

It really does sound that simple. He basically told everyone to love God and love everyone else. All this time since his death has passed, and I would say many of us still have a lot to work on. Loving your neighbors is easy when you like your neighbors. However, loving your neighbor is not as easy when he or she is not particularly likeable. I think everyone has a story about their "bad neighbor" that no one could get along with, but we are called to love that person as well. We love to justify why it is okay to not like that person, but when Jesus spoke, he did not include any exceptions. He never said love everyone except for so and so.

Just this past week, I spent some time talking with a friend about funeral arrangements for her mother. Her mother and father lived in one state. She lives on the opposite end of the country, and the arrangements were being made in their hometown, which is in a third state. We were talking things through when she told me her dad wanted to have the mother's celebration of life in a pizza parlor. For the life of me, I could not understand why a pizza parlor. I thought perhaps her mother loved pizza, but she told me that was not the case. Her dad was not able to make arrangements with a church or church people in their hometown because she is transgender.

I could not believe what I heard. No one would help them. Where was the compassion? Shame on those churches and those who call themselves followers of Christ, but refused to help them in any way. When you choose hatred, discrimination, and intolerance over compassion, you are clearly on the wrong path. It breaks my heart that their family was turned away.

The hallmarks of our faith are supposed to be love, compassion, kindness, and acceptance. Yet, there is a pretty substantial amount of Christians who do not live this way. We should be about building longer tables, not taller fences. Unfortunately, experience tells me there are far too many fence builders out there. When a church stops welcoming people in and focuses on keeping people out, it is no longer a church, it is nothing more than a social club. This is completely unacceptable.