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Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Skateboarding Saved My Son’s Mental Health

Like many people around the world, the last couple of years has been difficult for my family and I. 2020 was filled with fear and uncertainty. 2021 brought some sense of normalcy back, but social distancing, masking, and other measures still took a toll.

Through all of this I thought my children were doing quite well. They were both able to attend school in-person. My older son was still playing competitive sports. It never occurred to me to check on my younger son’s mental health. He seemed okay most of the time. He spent a lot of time watching YouTube and playing video games, but I didn’t think anything was unusual.

Near the end of 2021 and beginning of 2022, I started to notice a massive change. He pretty much stopped talking, except for one word answers here and there. He began to become more withdrawn. He went from spending some of his time watching videos and playing video games to spending all of his time doing those things. A lot of unfortunate things happened in our community as well. Young people were taking their own lives with alarming frequency, and much of the discussion among many parents was now focused exclusively on mental health. Still, I thought my child was perfectly fine, until I could feel in the depths of my soul that he most definitely was not.

I thought helping him find his “thing” would help him a lot, but we had the worst time finding out what his thing was. He didn’t enjoy sports like his brother. He’s much more introverted as well. He had friends, but he didn’t like to play with them for more than a few minutes at a time. He would play with his cousins sometimes, but then withdraw again shortly after. Art was his thing for a while, but that went to pieces during the pandemic. Then one day I mentioned to him that I used to skateboard when I was his age.

My neighbor taught me to ride a skateboard back in the day. He even gave me my first real board. In those days, skateboarding was pretty much considered a crime, at least that’s how it was in our town. Skateboarders were punks and misfits. My parents hated that I was a skater — though, to be quite honest, I was not a very good skater at all. I did fit the part and dress the part well, and my friends were accepting of the fact that I was not as good as them.

Anyway, my son took an interest in these stories. Skateboarding drew a look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen in months. My older son had a cheap skateboard that he never used, so he let his brother use it. We started the way I did as a kid: riding down the short driveway in front of our house. The first time he rode all the way down without falling was amazing. His eyes lit up, he smiled, and I saw his personality shine through once again.

Skateboarding brought joy back to his life, and now he skates every day. I recently bought him a better board, helmet, and pads. We started visiting the local skatepark every weekend. He stays out there for hours at a time. He’s learning to do tricks and ride in ways that I couldn’t even imagine as a kid. After only a few months, he’s already better than I ever was, and he’s only getting better. It really is an amazing thing. I have seen him change completely from where he was just a little while ago. He has much fewer down days. He is way more social and everything in his life is showing improvement. We owe it all to skateboarding. I will never look at skaters and skateboards the same again.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

A case of the "what if's?"

Over the weekend, I released my second book. I knew I was going to have problems with this release date because I did not have time to do the promos that I wanted. We are still awaiting results on the exact nature of my son's blood disorder. His medical needs are the priority, not my book. Nevertheless, I felt I could still release my book because I at least had some experience in this area with my first book.

Oh boy was I ever wrong. I'm not sure if it is just me, but I felt just as anxious about the release of this book as I did the first one. In fact, I am still freaking out a little--Lol. It really is an amazing process to take something you worked hard on and let it out for the world to see. I don't think it is a feeling I will ever completely get used to, and I still have one more to go in this series.

I'm pretty sure most of my anxiety is because of fears of the "what if's?" What if I do this? What if I do that? What if I fail? We all know what it is like to get a case of the "what if's?" However, it is very important to not let a case of the "what if's?" get in the way of you reaching your goals. There's nothing wrong with making sure everything is in order, but it does become a major problem if you are unable to accomplish anything because you are too worried about failing.

It really is better to try and fail than to never try at all. I'm nowhere near as successful as I would like to be one day, but I do pretty well. I've made the bestseller list a few times. I have some fans. Unfortunately, a person who never tries gains absolutely nothing. Whatever it is you hope to achieve in life, go after it with everything you've got. Do not let a simple case of the "what if's?" prevent you from reaching your goals. Keep trying your best, and whatever you do, do not give up before you have a chance to succeed. Have a great week, friends!

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."  -Thomas Edison