On October 23 my friend Franco passed away. I have been struggling with processing this loss. We were really close from around our middle school years until around our early twenties. We didn't have a falling out. We mostly just lost touch of each other over the years. Our interactions eventually became a few messages here and there on social media.
I'm having issues with processing this loss because I feel like I don't deserve to mourn his loss. We have mutual friends who were closer to him in later years. I feel like they earned the right to mourn him more than I did. It sounds odd, I know. It feels odd for me as well. I feel huge sadness, but at the same time, I feel like: do I deserve to feel sad?
Recently, a friend of mine from that time whom I am closer to now called to see if I was okay after learning Franco passed away. He said, "I know you two were close." I remember replying something like that we were close when we were younger, but not so much recently. He said something in response that I'm still thinking over nearly a week and a half later, "That doesn't take away from the fact that you were friends. Everything you guys went through together still happened."
I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm still trying to make sense of things myself. I suppose it all comes down to this: How do I honor my friend, without feeling like I am overstepping? Not sure I'll ever get an answer. I'll update this post at a later time if I ever figure things out.
