Stop Trying to Argue People Into Believing

Some things that have been happening recently have me thinking about my experience at a Christian conference I attended not too long ago.

During one of the breakout sessions, I went to hear a speaker named Josh Urich speak on Reaching Millennials in an Age of Unbelief. I enjoyed the talk. He offered a lot of advice and techniques for reaching a largely atheist population. I believe the approach he presented was good. They were techniques I already employ which really validated my own thoughts and approach to reaching atheists. However, I also found something during his talk that continues to be a problem among the Christian population: the need to argue.

The main point Mr. Urich presented early on was to not argue. There is no point in arguing with an atheist. You cannot argue truth, facts, or opinions and expect to win. You can’t debate science versus creation. Even if you do happen to “win,” you still lose. No one ever became a Christian because they lost an argument. I, among many others, know this to be true. Unfortunately, during question and answer time of this session, this is exactly what happened. Several members of the audience felt compelled to argue their points. As is the case many times when Christians are told not to argue, they immediately begin to argue.

I find this strange because we were all there to learn about reaching a generation of individuals that hate the church, yet some members of the audience felt the need to be defensive. Mind you, none of them offered anything that would help anyone else reach, well, anyone. I wanted to encourage the group and Mr. Urich by validating what he said with my own experience, but the arguers dominated the conversation from that point on. Personally, I left the room when the arguments turned to blaming and finger-pointing instead of productive dialogue.

With this message, I want to discuss what has worked for me in reaching an atheist. This is what I would of talked about during the session had I been given the chance. Of course it begins with the very first point presented at the session: do not argue. Arguing never works. I don’t claim to have all the answers, and my approach only worked once so far, but I can tell you that my friend, who was once an atheist, is now a believer. I figure reaching one atheist is still better than none. Also, there are no quick fixes. It took 10 years for my friend to become a believer.

When I met Kyle (in order to maintain his privacy his has been changed) he had been an atheist most of his life. He hated the church with a passion. He would often say things like, “If God exists let him strike me down right now, or now, or now.” One time I was nearby when a holier than thou type of Christian decided to tell him that he was going to hell for talking about God like that. His response, “I hope so. Who would want to go to heaven if they have to be around people like you forever?” For whatever reason, we still became friends. I used to train in martial arts, and he loved martial arts, so that was our connection early on. We would watch fights on television and talk about great matches from the past. I found out about his hate for the church when I wore a cross to his house one day. He literally looked at me like I had committed a crime. The first words out of his mouth were, “Why are you wearing that crap around your neck?”

After explaining to him that I worked at a church, he calmly stated that he was an atheist, and we moved on. We remained friends, and even became really good friends over time. However, from time-to-time he would have something negative to say about the church, and we would talk about it a little, and then move on before a larger argument could occur. It turned out we had similar dislikes about the things he would find about so-called “believers.” For instance, I do not condone the actions of the Westboro Baptist Church, which was easy for us to agree upon.

Occasionally, he would bring up something like dinosaurs versus creationism. In response, I would usually say you know, “to God a thousand years is like a day and a day is like a thousand years.” It also helped that I actually liked dinosaurs and science, so there were things we could talk about. It didn’t have to be an argument. The point is that I never argued with him. Sometimes he would go on long rants and tirades on social media about his hate for God and the various churches, but I would never engage him. There was no reason to. There’s no reason to engage in an argument or debate with any atheist, especially when they are just trying to make you angry.

After a couple of years, one day he was at my house, and we were having one of our small discussions about churches and such, mostly because I’ve always worked at or been a part of one. At the end, he said, “Maybe there is a God, but his followers suck.” To which I replied, “Yeah, a lot of them do.” This became the only real argument I ever won in any of our discussions. After that, he helped me write a sermon one time. I included him as an example in a bunch after that. He always said he didn’t mind, as long as he never had to physically be a part of it. He even watched me preach in a rebroadcast of one of our church’s services. He told me afterward that he thought it was pretty good.

Throughout the years he would still need to vent or rant about things he didn’t like. I would find small opportunities to answer his questions or add one of my thoughts about scripture or theology. No matter what: we would move on. Our talks were always civil and no one blew up over any of the subjects we ever talked about. You don’t destroy a relationship over a disagreement. At some point, you just have to say, “I’m not here to argue with you about it.” If you can’t let it go and move on, then chances are you cannot remain friends.

Fast forward to today. He moved away a couple of years ago, so we do not talk as much. He came home to celebrate his son’s first birthday about a month ago. It was like no time passed at all, except for one major change. When no one else was around he pulled me aside to talk about something. He wanted me to know that he now believed in God. He had a God moment. Something had happened that he firmly believed could not have been anything but God.

He said at a bad time in his life he prayed and God answered; therefore, he would honor his promise to God and accept Jesus Christ. He just thought I should know, since I had put up with him all those years. All praise, honor, and glory goes to God for this victory. I always believed he would come around one day. God had a plan for him all along. All I had to do was stay the course and be there for my friend.

In the end, it’s all relational. We need to form genuine relationships and show God’s love and grace through our actions. It can’t be about winning arguments. Arguments and debates will never produce a positive outcome. I know many of us still believe we can somehow argue, debate, or steamroll people into accepting Jesus. It doesn’t work that way. God is already working on hearts. We just need to stay the course and be there to love them along the way. Regardless of their beliefs, God does indeed love them all, and we should too.

I'm Back!

It's been a while since I last blogged about anything. I had to go through some things and let a bunch of stuff go. I honestly thought I didn't have anything left to say.

I still speak with people often and work with children and youth of various ages. Not much has changed. However, a sizeable number of people told me they missed my blog. They still want to hear what I have to say about various topics that many still don't like to discuss. They also feel I gave a voice to those who could not speak for themselves, and for that reason alone, I should continue to write, speak, and blog.

So, I am back. I hope to tackle some of the tougher topics, as the world we live in continues to become more uncertain. Thank you for reading and following me on this part of the journey!

Cover Reveal: More Spooky Kine Tales of Supernatural Hawaii by Christian Brown

This week, I am very pleased to bring you the cover for More Spooky Kine Tales of Supernatural Hawaii, which will be released on October  20, 2018 in the Amazon Kindle Store.

More Spooky Kine Tales of Supernatural Hawaii is the second book of the Spooky Kine Tales of Supernatural Hawaii series. The chilling Hawaii tales in this series are eyewitness accounts told by storyteller Christian Brown. The goal of this series always has been, and continues to be, to keep the art of storytelling alive and to pass on these stories to future generations for them to enjoy.


I hope everyone who loved the first book will love this one too!


Now, without further ado, the cover:

©2018 C. Brown Publisher

YOLO is a lie.

The whole YOLO thing has always bothered me. For those of you who don't know, YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. For many people I knew, this was the term they used for the reason they did all kinds of ridiculous things. Every time they did something messed up they'd say, "Oh well, YOLO." I thought it would pass over time, but I still hear young people say this all the time.

YOLO is a lie. Let me say that again to be clear: YOLO is a lie. You only die once; you live every day. Every day you wake up, take another breath, and know you are alive is another chance to live the best life possible. Strive to live the best life you can. Some days you will fail; we all fail sometimes, but don't let that hold you back. New days bring new opportunities and another chance to live the life you have always wanted.

Christmastime in Hawaii with Excerpt from Beyond Demons and Protectors

 
Christmas has come and gone, but there are still things to do here in Hawaii. One of the things many of us do is visit the Honolulu City Lights. The Christmas scenes and lights are put up before Christmas and stay up until around the first week of the new year. It's a wonderful tradition that will draw crowds all the way to the end. My family and I went this evening, and it was as magical as I remember. We bought malasadas, took pictures in front of the displays, and enjoyed all the sights and sounds.

In my novels, I always planned on writing a Christmas scene that would be easily recognizable to locals here. I was very pleased to be able to do so in my second novel. Naturally, I went with a scene at the Honolulu City Lights. Being there this evening really felt like stepping into the scene I described in the book. I'm glad that I was able to write about it well enough for people who can't be here to experience a small portion of an Island-style Christmas for themselves.

Here is the excerpt from Beyond Demons and Protectors ©2014:

     We reappear in the middle of a grassy area. As I take in our surroundings, being extra
cautious to make sure we are in the right place, I can see colorful lights everywhere. The trees have Christmas-colored lanterns hanging from their boughs. Nearby, children are
riding a small train in circles. A light breeze carries the sound of old Christmas tunes in
our direction. Further ahead, I see a sidewalk, couples walking hand-in-hand, and smiling
families with excited children making their way up the street. I know where they are
going. I can see the bright lights off in the distance. Brief flashes of light tell me people
are taking pictures at the various displays along the way. If I remember correctly, some
extremely large Christmas decorations should be near the first group of people taking
pictures. We are definitely in the right place.
     Ash takes a hold of my hand and leans against my shoulder. She begins to weep,
though she doesn’t appear to be sad. Truth be told, I am more than a little surprised that
this is where she wanted to come. This time and place does not carry good memories for
her. The last time she was here at Christmastime was with her parents. Her entire life
changed that night. “We could go to the East coast,” I try. “I’ve never seen the big tree or
the ice skating rink out there.”
     “No, this is our home,” she says with a crooked smile.
     I give her a warm smile in return, “Shall we go, then?”
     She nods excitedly, “Let’s.”
     “I haven’t been here in ages,” I say while we walk over to the sidewalk. “Honolulu
Hale is up ahead, right?”
     “It is,” she says.
     “I think my phone has a camera. We should take pictures!”
     We take a leisurely stroll to Honolulu Hale. Along the way, we stop to take pictures at
several of the large Christmas displays. A little boy runs into Ash. She smiles at the boy.
He hugs her leg, and then takes off to find whoever he is supposed to be with. The
happiness in the air is contagious. Ash watches the boy leave. I’ve never seen the look
she has in her eyes as she watches him walk away. “What is it?” I ask.
     “Nothing,” she says without looking at me. “I just felt something I don’t think I have
before.”
     “This is our first Christmas together,” I remind her.
     Her attention snaps back to me, “I love this.”
     “Me too,” I say and kiss her romantically under the lights of the beautiful display,
though lightly, so we don’t accidentally set the dang thing on fire.
     Every year Honolulu Hale is transformed into a winter wonderland - island style, of
course. It really is spectacular. We pass by the fountain, wishing pool, and large
Christmas tree on our way toward the entrance. A mixture of Christmas smells drift out
of the doorway: cinnamon, citrus, and pine, at least I think the smells are coming from
inside. Now that I think about it, Ash smells very similar to me.
     Inside the building are a series of decorated Christmas trees. Each one has a different
theme, although all of them are fun. I have never seen a bad one. A thought occurs to me,
“I didn’t get you a gift.”
     “You are my gift,” she says, staring at a tree with colorful origami decorations all
over it. “Not to mention, my one of a kind engagement ring. I’m pretty sure no one in the
world has one like it. If anyone needs to worry about a gift, it’s me, not you.”
     “You don’t need to get me anything, Ash.”
     “When are you going to go,” she says, catching me off guard.
     “Go?” I try to play off.
     “To get Stana,” she says, finally looking at me again.
     “Not for a little while. I…”
     “No need to explain,” she says while leading me to a hallway on our right.
     “What’s over here?”
     “Contest wreaths.”
     Down the hallway, on both sides, Christmas wreaths of all kinds line the walls:
colorful ones, artistic ones, large ones, small ones, and some that don’t look like wreaths
at all. I’ve never noticed these before. I glance at a plaque next to one of the closest
wreaths. This one appears to be made out of recycled products. Ooh, this one was made
by a third grade class from a school I’ve never heard of. More than a few were made by
children. The more elaborate ones appear to have been made by professional artists or
clubs for adults. Hardly seems fair; adults competing with children. I read the plaque for
one of the funnier looking wreaths. A chill runs through my body, “Did we lose another
year?”
     “I’m afraid so, babe. Are you worried?”
     “Nah,” I resolve myself to enjoy this time with her. “This is the best Christmas ever!
Let’s take a picture out front.”
     “Okay,” she says cheerfully. “I like all these pictures. I think I want to start an album
or something. You know to keep all of our memories.”
     “I think that sounds awesome,” I say. I really do.
     We stand in front of the Mele Kalikimaka display and ask an elderly man to take our
picture. I’m amazed because he knows how to take the picture with my phone without
any hesitation. I don’t even know how to use my phone correctly. I thank him and hug
Ash. We stand hugging each other for a while, basking in the joy of the holiday season.

Be W.E.I.R.D.

This week I want to take a minute to talk about something close to my heart. Be W.E.I.R.D. is an anti-bullying group I help put together here in Hawaii. We're just starting out. We don't even have a webpage up yet, but we do have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/beweirdhi/). If you still have a Facebook, please take a moment to give the page a like.

Be W.E.I.R.D. was started in response to a lack of support here in the islands. There are very few groups out here to tackle such a huge problem. To be honest, I never really thought much about bullying until I ran into one of my former students at a soccer game. In a million years, I would have never guessed she was a victim of bullying. She explained to me that she was bullied out of school and had to switch high schools.

The school she was at didn't really do anything. Like most of the schools here, they would rather ignore the issue than admit there's a problem. She sought out support, but didn't find any. The things she told me blew my mind. I could not believe that happened to here. I was also upset that no help was available to her when she needed it the most.

Thus, Be W.E.I.R.D. was formed. Be W.E.I.R.D. is about being yourself and not judging others. We encourage people to stand up to bullies. We mostly use the page to promote anti-bullying posts and as a place for kids being bullied and their parents to message us. It's amazing how many kids have come to us. In just a few weeks time, we have talked with at least 20 young people, helped them in some way, and/or connected them with services that could help them tackle this problem. I don't know what the future holds for our tiny group, but I'm hopeful we will be able to reach many more youth in 2016.

About The Soundtrack to Beyond Anything In All Creation

Aloha, friends! Creating soundtracks for books is still a new experience for me. I created one for my first book, Beyond Heights and Depths, that was received well by fans. However, I wanted to do something different for this book. After many discussions, careful consideration, and a huge amount of time on social media, we have put together a soundtrack that I really enjoy. I hope you will too!

This soundtrack has a little something for everyone. We touch on a lot of genres. The songs fit the story really well. Of course there are a few songs I absolutely had to have on the soundtrack. Fortunately, everyone was in agreement with me. I had to include the song “White Sandy Beach of Hawai’i” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. I love this song. I used to have dreams about scenes from this song. It was a no-brainer for me to put this song on the list. Not to mention the fact that Braddah Iz was and is one of the greatest entertainers to ever come from Hawaii.

I put the song by Red called “Never Be The Same” in as a bonus track at the end. I want it to be the last song people hear. I have often said that if this book were ever made into a movie, I would absolutely have to have this song in it. I always thought if I made a book trailer that this is the song I would play with it. Unlike many of the other songs, this is the song that I listened to the most when I was writing all three books. I still listen to it now. One could say this song goes with every part of each book because of the way it fits the characters and story so well.

The complete soundtrack is below. All of the songs are available on Spotify. Please take some time to give them a listen. I hope you all enjoy the soundtrack! Feel free to leave a comment. Tell me what you think, or tell me if you think of another song should be on the list. Thank you so much and have a wonderful week!