Sunday, November 23, 2014

Dear Ross

Dear Ross,

It's been about 17 years since we last spoke. I'm not sure why, but I found myself thinking about you this week. I remember the last time we talked like it was yesterday. It's one of those things that I never really forget, though I will admit that I don't think about it often. When I do think about that day, I see your face crystal clear in my mind.

There was nothing special about that day. As far as I remember it was just another day. I remember walking to my car. I was probably off to hang out with some friends. I remember debating whether or not I should light a cigarette in the parking lot or wait until I was on the road. I was just about to get in my car when I noticed you standing near me.

I remember you asking me for a ride home. I'm not sure why you asked that day. We weren't exactly friends, more like acquaintances. We had a few classes together and talked story once in a while. I thought you were a cool guy, but we weren't close. I remember thinking it was weird that you were asking for a ride.

I want to be honest with you. I had no reason for telling you no. I think I told you I had a doctor's appointment or something, but it was a lie. Maybe I thought I was too cool, or maybe I was just being an asshole. I could have given you a ride home, but I didn't. I remember you smiling and saying it was okay. You said you would find another ride. We shook hands, and I thought that was the end of that.

I remember a friend of mine telling me to check out the news later that night. The report was about a kid from our school, but I did not know it was about you. Apparently, you did find another ride. You guys were driving around. Someone made a bad decision, as high school kids often do. The car you were in crashed. And just like that, you were gone.

I'm sorry, my friend.  I often wonder if things would have been different if I had just given you a ride that day. I wonder if you would still be here. I guess we will never know. None of us will ever know what you would have become.

I'm sorry it took so long to write to you. I don't know what else to say. I hope you are at peace wherever you are now.

Rest in Love



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