The right words to say

I've been thinking about a recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about working with people - lately, I have been helping a few close friends work through some of the most difficult situations any person could ever go through. This friend of mine mentioned how he could never do the kind of work I do because he could never think of the right things to say in any of those situations.

I was flattered that he thought so highly of me, but I had to tell him: most of the time, there are no right words to say. There are no words that will make it all better. Sometimes things are so bad that there is nothing to say at all. Sometimes speaking will only make the pain worse. In these instances, attempting to offer the right words to someone may be the worse thing you can do.

"So, what do you do?" he asked. More often than not, just being there is enough. Sometimes all a person needs or wants is a shoulder to cry on, and I am more than willing to offer the two that I possess. In many cases, listening is of much greater importance than speaking. You might not know the right words to say, but you can always listen. We also have arms that can hold a person, pat a person on the back, or offer a consoling hug, which can be a lot more comforting than having the right words to say.

I also believe your heart has to be in the right place. People can tell if you really have a heart for them or if you are just acting like you care. At my church, we often say: "we celebrate with those who are celebrating, weep with those who are weeping, and mourn with those who are mourning. We live life together, both the highs and the lows." That is the way I deal with everyone in my life. You have to have a heart for people, or you are really doing more damage than good.

I wish I had the right words to say to fix any situation in life. The fact is: I don't; no one does. Don't let that deter you from helping people. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "Thanks for being there." I can tell you exactly how many times someone has told me thanks for having exactly the right words to say: zero. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to check out this post. Have a wonderful week everyone!

What a week...it's time for me to give back

This past week was filled with numerous highs and lows. My family and I celebrated a baby's first birthday, which is huge in Hawaii. The only celebrations larger than first birthdays here are weddings. We spent time with close friends who are going through some rough times of their own. To cap it all off, my wife and I held a baby shower at our house - yeah, we might be crazy, trying to cram all of that into one weekend, and we have a holiday tomorrow too!

I spent much of this day reflecting on the different parts of life I was blessed to witness: joy, new life, birthdays, depression, and severe illness. The part that stands out to me is the people I walked through these events with. Sometimes life is tough, but having people that you can rely on and lean on during the difficult times and celebrate with during the joyful times makes all the difference in the world.

I am very privileged to be a part of many programs that benefit others. I work with youth in the community, serve the homeless, work with the addicted, and many other programs. It really is a joy to be a part of so many programs and reach so many different people. This week I am giving back. All of the proceeds from my books, Beyond Heights and Depths and Beyond Demons and Protectors, will be donated to support these various programs.

100% of the proceeds will be donated. You can help by purchasing one of my books. You get a book, and every penny I earn will go toward programs that benefit youth, young adults, the homeless, and every other program I work with. You can also help me by spreading the word. Tell a friend, send a book as a gift, I appreciate any and all help. If you really can't, I hope you will at least look for an opportunity to do something kind for someone in your community. Have a wonderful week, friends!

Sometimes, doing good deeds hurts...

This past week, I have been thinking about a comment someone made about the work I do with the less fortunate in my community. It's pretty much common knowledge that I receive a lot of criticism, rude comments, and even threats as a result of my work with the homeless. However, the comment I received recently was veiled in a different way than the usual remark. This particular person told me, "You only do the work you do to feel good about yourself. You might think you're better than the rest of us, but you're not."

I don't think I am better than anyone, but I will admit that I do feel pretty good after a good day of helping others, most of the time. I say most of the time because there are days that completely break my heart. There are days that helping others takes a tremendous toll on me. It's hard to hear about the anguish of a person who lost everything. It's hard to listen to a young person talk about the abuse they encountered at home, which is the reason he/she lives on the street. There are days that make me wonder: what is happening to the world we live in?

I'll tell you what, though; sometimes, doing good deeds hurts...you need to do them anyway. Some days are going to be harder than others, but keep trying. I have a lot of hard days, but the good always outweighs the bad. I have seen the miraculous change that can occur from one small act of kindness. One small act of kindness can change a person's entire world. Believe me, I have been there. I don't know where I would be had I not been on the receiving end of a few random acts of kindness over the years.

Keep trying to be the change you want to see in the world. Don't give up. One good deed can make a significant difference, even if we can't immediately see how. There will always be haters, but don't let them deter you from doing good in the world. Alright, stepping off my soapbox now. Have a wonderful week, friends.