If I can do it, so can you

First off, let me say: My third book is almost ready for release! It's hard to believe that my third book is almost here. To be quite honest, I wasn't sure if I could finish writing one book. When I finished the first book, I wasn't sure I could write one more. Now, here we are, and the trilogy is nearly complete.

I know a lot of writers use their blogs to offer writing tips and advice, but I really don't have any. The only thing I can say with certainty is: The only true failure is not trying. If you want to succeed at anything, you need to try. A lot of people tell me how they aren't sure they could ever write a book. I don't think anyone is really sure at the beginning, but I can guarantee you'll never find out, if you never try.

If I can write, so can you. I had no idea what I was doing when I started this journey. A few years later, I have made the Amazon bestseller list. My second book made it into the top 3. I have a pretty good fan base. Most importantly, I'm still enjoying writing. The fact is: I would not have accomplished anything if I did not bother to try.

Life is too short to not chase your dreams. Why not chase a few? I say chase as many as you can, and hopefully, you catch more than a few. You want to be a writer, well then write. You have another dream, go after it. No one is going to chase your dreams for you. You have to put in the effort. Don't walk through life wondering about the would've, could've, should've moments you let pass you by.

For me, writing a book was just one of my dreams. I'm constantly in the process of chasing dreams, whether it be writing, skimboarding, or whatever other crazy activity I'm doing. I hope that as I catch a few of those dreams it will inspire others to chase theirs. So, get out there and chase your dreams. If you have the time, tell me about a few. I love to hear from people who are living the dream. Have a wonderful week everybody!

Keep moving forward

Recently, I've been talking to a lot of folks that have me thinking about something. A lot of people I meet are interested in the way I live my life. I try to live life as best I can. I try to learn from everyone and every situation that comes my way. One of the most important things I do is I keep trying.

Sounds simple, right?

I think so, but for some reason, this concept sounds completely foreign to a lot of people. Let me tell you what I mean. More often than not, when people find out I am a writer, they will often tell me about an idea that they have for a story. They also tell me how they are impressed that I have two books out because they aren't sure they could write a book. I try to encourage everyone I meet, so I will usually ask, "Did you ever try?" You know what the most common response is: "No."

If you never try something, how will you ever know if you can do it or not? How about another example? A few weeks ago I decided to try my hand at skimboarding again, a water activity I have not done for over 20 years! Many people I meet on the beach, especially older guys, tell me how much they used to love skimboarding, but they just don't feel like they could do it again. My question for them is the same: How do you know, if you never tried?"

I worry that too many of us give up because we never try. I truly believe in living life to the fullest. We can't do that if we are too afraid to try. Maybe skydiving and extreme sports is too much for most people, but what about the simple things? If you have an idea for a book, you should try writing. I never thought I could write a book. That is the whole reason I did, and now I am about to finish my third book. I wasn't sure if I could skimboard again without seriously hurting myself, but I tried, and now I go all the time. I'm not sure why I ever stopped.

What is something in your life that you could do to make your life fuller, but you are too afraid to try? This week, at least give it another look. Maybe you want to travel, become a chef, write a book, or learn to swim. The possibilities are endless. Whatever you do, keep moving forward, keep trying. It's the advice we give children who are learning something new. I think it is still sound advice for many of us who are adults that are afraid to try.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Faith to carry you through

2 Corinthians 4: 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. [NIV]

I have to keep this post short. As I write this, I am in the middle of one of the most difficult situations of my life. My child must return to the hospital for further medical testing. I will probably discuss this further at another time when we receive more information. For now, my biggest fears come from the fact that all of this is out of my control. Of course, like most parents, I wish I could go through this for him, but all I can do is go through this with him and wait and wait and wait. I know I am not the only one facing hardship, so I hope this message speaks to you.

A life in Christ does not mean we will never face hardship; rather, we have the knowledge of knowing that no matter what this world throws at us God has our back. He will never abandon us or forsake us. Although we may feel at times that we are at the end of our rope, God reminds us that we are not at the end of our hope. It is often during the times we feel most broken that God does the most work in our lives. When we feel we are weak, He shows us how we are actually strong because He is our strength. Do not lose hope before God has a chance to do His work in your life. Draw in closer to God instead and trust that He will. God loves you my friends, and nothing can ever change that. Be blessed.

Reaching out to those on the fringes

A month ago, I started a new ministry that serves the homeless in my community. I fund the program with my own money from odd jobs and sales of my book BEYOND HEIGHTS AND DEPTHS. I basically hand out egg and cheese burritos and bottles of water to folks I meet around town. The majority of those I reach out to are drug addicts, have mental health issues, or a combination of the two. Men, women, young, and old, I try to reach as many of them as possible on a weekly basis.

The decision to do this came about when I was thinking about how many times I wished someone would help all of these folks I would see around town. I realized I was complaining about the lack of help, but I was not doing anything to help. I spent a huge part of my adolescence living on the streets, showering at beaches, and figuring out where my next meal would come from. I battled addiction. I could relate to them, yet I was not doing anything to help. So, with the help of my wife and a couple of friends, I set out to reach the one group of people in my community that no one wants to.

The response has been amazing. In the first week, I only managed to reach 5 people. By the second week, that number doubled, and by the third, the number of people more than tripled. It's been a blessing for me to help. For a short time, their day is a little better. They don't have to worry about one meal. One of the most common responses I get is: For a little while, they don't feel like they are being ignored. For a little while, someone talks to them like they are human again. In the end, isn't that what we all want? We want to be treated kindly. We want someone to acknowledge our existence. We want to be treated like a human being.

Interestingly, the only complaints I get are usually from behind barely opened windows of European SUV's. They like to yell about helping people they do not feel deserve help. Of course, they don't want to be seen, so they barely open their windows, and then speed off. Never once has any of them ever come out of their beautiful, air-conditioned, leather interior vehicle to talk to me face-to-face. Funny how those who have plenty like to decide for everyone else who does or does not deserve help.

For me, it does not hurt me in any way to help someone out in a small way, show some compassion to those who are less fortunate, or feed someone who hasn't eaten in days. It's not much, but I hope I will be able to expand this endeavor into something that benefits even more people. If nothing else, I hope others will be inspired to help people in need, wherever they are in the world.

Timing: The excuse to cover all excuses

Before I begin, let me say up front that I believe timing is absolutely vital, especially for astronauts, racers, and even bakers. My concern is when timing is used as an excuse. If I had a nickel for every time I have heard someone say, "The timing wasn't right," I would be a rich man. I like to tell friends who use timing as an excuse that the key to timing is being in the right place at the right time. Unfortunately, many people stand on the sidelines watching the time pass by.

It's like going to a job interview, staring at the front door until it's too late, then deciding not to go in at all because you missed the appointment standing outside. Sure, you could've gone in, but now timing is your excuse. I once had a friend in high school who never went out on dates, like, at all. The thing about him was he would always say he was waiting for the right time to ask a particular girl out, and then he wouldn't ask her out at all. He would come back and say the time wasn't right. Well, four years passed by, and the timing was never right, or at least his version of right.

Sometimes you have to go out there and go for whatever it is you are trying to achieve. I completely understand if the timing really isn't right, but please do not use timing as an excuse to never try. Life really is too short for that kind of thinking. Every day I talk to people who have hopes, dreams, and life goals that they are waiting for the right time to chase. For many of them, the time will never be right. All of those hopes, dreams, and goals will go unaccomplished, and at some later time you can be sure they will say, "The timing wasn't right."

I know, thus far it sounds like I am ranting, but it breaks my heart to know many people will never live life to the fullest because they are waiting for the right time to live. I meet people who want to travel, do art, save the world, feed the homeless, write books, build houses, and spend more time with their children, but they are hoping they will be able to later. "Work is too important right now" and "I'll have more time later," they say. The truth is time is not on our side. Time goes on whether we want it to or not.

The saddest fact in my life is the amount of people I know who have passed away. Nearly everyone I grew up with is no longer with us. The one thing they all had in common was the desire to accomplish something in their lives that will forever go unfinished. The books they were going to write, songs they were going to sing, family they were going to love, friends they were going to share memories with, and places they were going to see will never happen. Their time on this planet of ours is done. It saddens me to think about how wonderful it would have been for them had they been able to accomplish even one or two of the things on their list.

Timing is important, and if your life and/or career is reliant on excellent timing, then please do not abandon timing. However, it is my hope that we can all stop using timing as an excuse for the things in our life that we fail to accomplish. Sometimes the timing really isn't right, but don't let that prevent you from trying again or trying at all. The timing may never be EXACTLY right. Live the best life you can. No one wants to reach the end of their life and carry more regrets than memories. Always do your best to really live.

The power of words

We all have been told since we were young that our words have power. Words have the power to hurt and to heal, to do both good and bad. With our words, we can build people up, or we can tear them down. How unfortunate that so many prefer the latter. Put simply, this should not be. I would venture to say that nearly all of us have been on the other end of someone's hurtful comments, yet I would also guess that nearly all of us are still guilty of letting those kind of words come out of our mouth.

The thing I want everyone--myself included--to keep in mind is if someone hears enough negative words about him or herself they start to believe those words are true, whether it is the truth or not. It's strange how lies can become the truth if enough people believe them. I have met far too many youth who are terribly damaged because of the things others have said or continue to say about them. I have met far too many adults who are still dealing with the effects of such treatment many years later. The truth is your words do have power, and as we can learn from Spider Man--or Voltaire, if you prefer, "With great power comes great responsibility."

I also want you to keep in mind that your words are not only capable of tearing others down, or building others up; the words you speak into your own life have the power to do both good and bad. If you say you are not good enough too many times, then you start to believe it. If you believe you are completely incapable of accomplishing anything, you are already defeated. You are speaking negativity into your life. You are giving those words power over you, and it won't matter how many times others try to encourage you or build you up because you have already passed judgement on yourself. It is incredibly difficult for people to learn to see themselves as good when they believe they are not.

Seriously, no one is better at tearing me down than I am at tearing myself down. There's a reason solitary confinement is used as punishment in prisons. Too much time alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company is a dangerous thing. Your mind becomes the prison. You spend all your time nitpicking at yourself, dwelling on the negative, tearing yourself down, and you can't runaway from yourself. I've done this to myself way too many times. Best not to get caught up in this vicious cycle.

Do not live your life with a defeated attitude. Do everything you can to speak positivity into your life, and as much as possible, do the same for others. There will always be people out there who make themselves feel good at the expense of others. Don't add to that mix. You are all good enough. You all have a purpose. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

From Darkness to Light: Cybil's Message

This week I am incredibly blessed to share the testimony of my friend Cybil with you. She presented this talk just over a week ago at her church. To say she has been through a lot is not nearly enough. I don't want to give away too much. She will talk about what she has overcome in this short video. I admire her strength and willingness to share what she has been through with others. The reality is there are many people who can relate to her story, so I hope this video will reach someone out there who needs to hear it. Her message is one of hope, love, and grace. She has overcome the stuff of nightmares, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to share her story with others.

Balance is essential

The lesson for me this week has been about balance. Like many people, I often get so caught up in all the day-to-day things in life that I fail to notice how these little things--that I feel are so important at the time--are actually taking me away from the things that really are important. I like to believe I am a pretty darn good multitasker, but I'm also learning to know when I have reached the point where I need to step back and re-prioritize. Of course, this is still an ongoing process for me, since I forget so often.

It's easy to to fall into the trap of busyness. A busy person makes a better impression than a not busy person. People who are not busy appear to be lazy. Keeping ourselves busy gives us the illusion of accomplishing a lot. Accomplishing a lot increases our sense of importance, and we all want to feel important. However, life goes by pretty fast, and before you know it, you've missed out on a lot of things because you were too busy keeping yourself busy. Life has to have balance.

In writing this, a certain quote has been stuck in my head. It comes from a movie most of us are familiar with: The Karate Kid (the 80's one, not the one that had no karate in it at all). In the movie, Mr. Miyagi says, "Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?"

Simple right? When your life has balance, everything is good. When life is not balanced, it's time to pack it up and regroup. For me, everyday I juggle ministry, work, being a proud parent to two boys, counseling others, working with multiple groups, making time to write, and finding any time I can to promote the book that is already published. Like a juggler, when everything is flowing correctly, the performance is good. The minute something goes wrong, everything comes crashing down.

So, like Daniel-san in the movie, I have to be reminded to keep working on balance. Hard work is good, but we also have to take the time to enjoy the things in life that are most important. In my opinion, the people who have good balance are the ones who make the best impression. Spend time with family and friends. Write because you enjoy writing, not because you have a deadline. Read a good book. See that new movie everyone is talking about. Whatever it is you do, make the most of it. Work is important, but don't get so caught up in being busy that you let life pass you by.

I wish these things never happen, but...

When I was growing up, I got into all sorts of trouble. I got caught up in gangs, drugs, and a whole lot of other messed up things. My lifestyle was crazy, and I saw far too much of the horrible things in the world that happen to people who live that particular lifestyle. I've seen enough horrors to last several lifetimes. Fortunately, I've been able to take these experiences and turn them into something useful by sharing them with youth and young adults.

When I was young, I would often wonder if life would get better. I would also wonder if there would be a time when people would never have to deal with the same stuff that I did. This is probably why I've devoted so much of my life to working with youth. I'm still hoping that they will never have to. Unfortunately, not only have I met youth who have been through the same things as me, but in a lot of ways, growing up in this day and age is so much worse.

Now, why am I writing this? Recently, I've run into people, mainly older adults, who have no understanding of the troubles our young people are facing every day. What I find most disturbing is I even had someone tell me that "These kids are just exaggerating and making a big deal out of nothing. All these things are made up. These things never happen." I wish this were true. I wish these things never happen, but the unfortunate truth is they do.

One need only open up a newspaper or turn on the news to see the awful things our young people are doing, not just to themselves but to each other. Every day, children are being abused. I've met more than a few. We are seeing stories of young people taking their own lives because they are being bullied and tormented relentlessly, and they end up seeing suicide as their only way out. Teens are dying as a result of drinking and driving, or overdosing on drugs. Without being too graphic, let me just say that there are even worse things than this happening to our young people.

The sad thing is all of this is happening, and still there are those who say these things don't happen. These kids and teens are being ignored at a time when help is needed the most. Who is encouraging these youth to live right? Who is teaching them how to live beyond the measure of this world? At an even more basic level, who is teaching these young people the difference between right and wrong? If not their parents, then who is responsible?

There's an old quote I used to see everyday in my old boss's office that read: "In 100 years, it won't matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account, nor what your clothes looked like. But, the world may be a better place because you were important in the life of a child." I believed it was true then - nearly 10 years go, and I still believe it's true today. It's time for us to reach out to this generation of youth. Open your eyes, and see that these kids and teens are hurting. We can't keep looking around hoping someone else will step up and fill this role. Now is the time, and you are the one. You can make a huge difference in this world. Believe it, know in your heart that it is true, and live your life with purpose. Let's all strive to make a difference.