Playing through the pain

This past week I had the opportunity to talk to a few young people about dealing with the inevitable hurts one encounters in life. One of the things every human being has in common is that we have all been hurt by someone in our lives. I wish it were not so, but being hurt by someone at some point in life is unavoidable.

What I was talking with these young folks about was how you deal with the hurt and live your life. We all change as a result of being hurt. However, I wanted them to understand that it is important to change for the better. It's too easy to change for the worst, and that is no way to live your life. For instance, when someone lies to us, it's to easy to decide to never trust anyone ever again. Now, let me be clear, I can completely understand when someone chooses to never trust again, but it is not a healthy way to live.

In professional sports, athletes often talk about playing through the pain; meaning, they have all been hurt at some point, but they make the effort to play at their best anyway. We will all be hurt at some point in life, but we must continue to do our best to live life to the fullest. If we do not, we risk becoming the hurt, angry, jaded version of ourselves who would rather shut the world out than risk being hurt again, and that's no way to live your life. We cannot completely avoid being hurt, but we can control how we react to the hurt. Never give anyone who has hurt you that much control over your life.

I often wonder how many opportunities we miss in life as a result of being hurt. I wonder how many dreams die for fear of being hurt again. I worry that far too many people choose to isolate themselves from the world rather than live, because they don't want to ever let anyone in. I'm not saying let people walk all over you; no, never do that, but you should make every effort to move forward and live the best life possible, even when you feel like you're not sure you can. We only get one shot at this thing called life, so live as full of one as possible.

Anyway, these are my thoughts this week. Take care, my friends. Have a wonderful week!

Heartache, hope, and shaking my head

This week has been interesting, to say the least. I went out to feed the homeless as usual, but the day was anything but usual. I met a couple of young people, each with a story of abuse and neglect that was heartbreaking to hear. I also met a man who has been an alcoholic longer than I have been alive. His story was sad, but hope appears to be on the horizon for him.

A friend reached out to him and is sending him a ticket to go home to the mainland. While talking with him, he expressed fear that he would mess up again. He felt like he didn't deserve a second chance because he had messed up so many times in his life. He talked about failing and falling short. He was especially surprised that I bothered to reach out to him and give him a meal, since most of the people he encountered liked to kick him while he was down (More on this second part a little later).

I gave him some words of encouragement, prayed with him, and even laughed a little. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope he will accept his second chance and make the most of it. The truth is we all mess up. I don't even know where I would be had I not received a second, third, or, heck, 200th chance. I could have easily ended up in similar circumstances as him, or worse. I hope he grabs on to that second chance with everything he's got and gets a chance to live a better life.

The thing that left me shaking my head this week was seeing the attitude of folks in my community. I happen to be a part of a few community groups, and for the most part, they just like to talk about the good old days. This week I found the topic of their discussion to be completely distasteful. More than a few folks felt a need to not just kick some of the less fortunate in our community while they are down but resort to making fun of them and talking about how society would be better without them (This last part I am putting nicely because their words were just too harsh).

Hearing them talk of such things left me shaking my head. It's sad that they, most of whom are very well-off, feel the need to entertain themselves at the expense of others. Why not help, instead of kick a person while he or she is already down? The only real response I received was, "Well, if you like them so much, why don't you do something?" So, I briefly discussed what I have been trying to do, which unfortunately, instantly prevented any of them from saying anything at all from that point forward. Seriously, some dialog would have been nice.

Anyway, I just felt a need to put this out there. In our efforts to help others, we will inevitably encounter haters. Don't let that prevent you from continuing to help. There's a lot of hurting people out there. There's a lot of sad stories, but if you stick with it, you will see hope shine through. Keep trying. Have an awesome week, my friends!

The power of words

We all have been told since we were young that our words have power. Words have the power to hurt and to heal, to do both good and bad. With our words, we can build people up, or we can tear them down. How unfortunate that so many prefer the latter. Put simply, this should not be. I would venture to say that nearly all of us have been on the other end of someone's hurtful comments, yet I would also guess that nearly all of us are still guilty of letting those kind of words come out of our mouth.

The thing I want everyone--myself included--to keep in mind is if someone hears enough negative words about him or herself they start to believe those words are true, whether it is the truth or not. It's strange how lies can become the truth if enough people believe them. I have met far too many youth who are terribly damaged because of the things others have said or continue to say about them. I have met far too many adults who are still dealing with the effects of such treatment many years later. The truth is your words do have power, and as we can learn from Spider Man--or Voltaire, if you prefer, "With great power comes great responsibility."

I also want you to keep in mind that your words are not only capable of tearing others down, or building others up; the words you speak into your own life have the power to do both good and bad. If you say you are not good enough too many times, then you start to believe it. If you believe you are completely incapable of accomplishing anything, you are already defeated. You are speaking negativity into your life. You are giving those words power over you, and it won't matter how many times others try to encourage you or build you up because you have already passed judgement on yourself. It is incredibly difficult for people to learn to see themselves as good when they believe they are not.

Seriously, no one is better at tearing me down than I am at tearing myself down. There's a reason solitary confinement is used as punishment in prisons. Too much time alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company is a dangerous thing. Your mind becomes the prison. You spend all your time nitpicking at yourself, dwelling on the negative, tearing yourself down, and you can't runaway from yourself. I've done this to myself way too many times. Best not to get caught up in this vicious cycle.

Do not live your life with a defeated attitude. Do everything you can to speak positivity into your life, and as much as possible, do the same for others. There will always be people out there who make themselves feel good at the expense of others. Don't add to that mix. You are all good enough. You all have a purpose. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.