Father's Day really isn't my thing. However, I wanted to talk a little bit about why, instead of make people guess. I don't want to take up too much of your time, so I'll keep this post short.
Father's Day has always been a weird holiday for me. I normally don't think much about it, even though I am a father myself. Don't get me wrong, I love the gifts I get from my children, but for me it is important to be a part of their lives every day anyway. Today, I am seeing all the posts, updates, tweets, and messages everyone is putting up for their fathers. I see the joy in what they are sharing, but that is not my experience.
As far back as I can remember, I do not remember Father's Day being a big deal. I wouldn't say my relationship with my own father as a child was what I would consider good. I don't have the fond memories that others have. Usually, when I am asked to give a talk on Father's Day, I go with the "God is the only father you need" talk. However, as I think about things today, I realize my dad taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned about being a father: Be there for you children, always.
My children are everything to me, and that is the way it should be. So, let me take this opportunity to wish all the amazing fathers out there a Happy Father's Day! Keep doing what you are doing. I know Mother's Day is the big show and Father's Day always plays second string, but you should be recognized for being a good father, because let's face it, there are a lot of crappy dads out there that make everyone else look bad. Enjoy your day my friends, and have a wonderful week!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Versatile Blogger Award and 7 Things About Me
I need to thank two people, Christina Zarella (http://turbulenceintheveins.blogspot.com/) and Claudia Burgoa (http://www.claudiayburgoa.com),
for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award! It’s nice to
know that people read my blog. If you haven’t heard about the Versatile Blogger Award, you can find out more here: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/
Gina Stoneheart - http://www.dawningonanewday.blogspot.com
Rob Distaffen - http://rdistaffen.blogspot.com
Karen Pilarski - http://karenpilarski.blogspot.com/
Rachel Thompson - http://rachelintheoc.com
Lelani Black - http://www.lelaniblack.com/
Stephanie Neighbour - http://stephanieneighbour.com
Debbie Vega - http://debravega.wordpress.com/
Roz and Patty - http://rozandpattywrite.blogspot.com/
Bruce Van Horn - http://www.brucevanhorn.com/
Seven Things About Me...
1. I was born and raised on the Island of Oahu in the State of Hawaii, but most of my family is made up of immigrants from all over the place.
2. I only planned on writing one book, but now I am almost done with my third book.
3. I used to fall asleep every time I watched the first Harry Potter movie. One day my wife made me stay up to watch it. I have been a fan ever since.
4. When I was young I got caught up in gangs and drugs, and consequently, spent most of my young life out on the streets.
5. I am an ordained minister.
6. I almost died in a horrible car wreck when I was 19. I fell asleep behind the wheel and was nearly decapitated by a dump truck. I broke my neck and back, but I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own. That's my faith story.
7. I've been called many things in my lifetime, and without a doubt, "Daddy" is my absolute favorite.
Monday, May 19, 2014
The right words to say
I've been thinking about a recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about working with people - lately, I have been helping a few close friends work through some of the most difficult situations any person could ever go through. This friend of mine mentioned how he could never do the kind of work I do because he could never think of the right things to say in any of those situations.
I was flattered that he thought so highly of me, but I had to tell him: most of the time, there are no right words to say. There are no words that will make it all better. Sometimes things are so bad that there is nothing to say at all. Sometimes speaking will only make the pain worse. In these instances, attempting to offer the right words to someone may be the worse thing you can do.
"So, what do you do?" he asked. More often than not, just being there is enough. Sometimes all a person needs or wants is a shoulder to cry on, and I am more than willing to offer the two that I possess. In many cases, listening is of much greater importance than speaking. You might not know the right words to say, but you can always listen. We also have arms that can hold a person, pat a person on the back, or offer a consoling hug, which can be a lot more comforting than having the right words to say.
I also believe your heart has to be in the right place. People can tell if you really have a heart for them or if you are just acting like you care. At my church, we often say: "we celebrate with those who are celebrating, weep with those who are weeping, and mourn with those who are mourning. We live life together, both the highs and the lows." That is the way I deal with everyone in my life. You have to have a heart for people, or you are really doing more damage than good.
I wish I had the right words to say to fix any situation in life. The fact is: I don't; no one does. Don't let that deter you from helping people. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "Thanks for being there." I can tell you exactly how many times someone has told me thanks for having exactly the right words to say: zero. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to check out this post. Have a wonderful week everyone!
I was flattered that he thought so highly of me, but I had to tell him: most of the time, there are no right words to say. There are no words that will make it all better. Sometimes things are so bad that there is nothing to say at all. Sometimes speaking will only make the pain worse. In these instances, attempting to offer the right words to someone may be the worse thing you can do.
"So, what do you do?" he asked. More often than not, just being there is enough. Sometimes all a person needs or wants is a shoulder to cry on, and I am more than willing to offer the two that I possess. In many cases, listening is of much greater importance than speaking. You might not know the right words to say, but you can always listen. We also have arms that can hold a person, pat a person on the back, or offer a consoling hug, which can be a lot more comforting than having the right words to say.
I also believe your heart has to be in the right place. People can tell if you really have a heart for them or if you are just acting like you care. At my church, we often say: "we celebrate with those who are celebrating, weep with those who are weeping, and mourn with those who are mourning. We live life together, both the highs and the lows." That is the way I deal with everyone in my life. You have to have a heart for people, or you are really doing more damage than good.
I wish I had the right words to say to fix any situation in life. The fact is: I don't; no one does. Don't let that deter you from helping people. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "Thanks for being there." I can tell you exactly how many times someone has told me thanks for having exactly the right words to say: zero. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to check out this post. Have a wonderful week everyone!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
The healing power of music
The last few weeks have left me feeling like a bundle of mixed emotions. To say they were difficult does not even scratch the surface. I had wonderful opportunities to speak with old friends, one whom I have known for over twenty years. Unfortunately, my old friends were dealing with some of the worst possible things in their lives. In fact, in one case, it was the worst I have ever heard.
Dealing with such issues is a joy and a burden. I am always glad to help, even if all they need is someone to talk to. I would never turn any of them away. On the flip side of that coin, I am often left feeling traumatized from the experience. Sometimes it takes a while for me to work through everything in my own head.
Of all the tools I have, I find music to be one of the most therapeutic. There is something about music that is absolutely healing. As I was pondering this, I received the meme I posted above. Music really does have the power to help in a way that nothing else does. So, music is where I turned to this past weekend.
I took some time to listen to and enjoy some of the music we enjoyed in the 90's. I took some time to enjoy the memories the songs brought up of better days. You know what, it really helps. Few things in the world help me through the dark times the way music does. I'm going to post a couple of the songs I have been listening to below. Many of you will crack up at my choice of songs this particular time, but I just want you to see that I wasn't listening to classical, new age, or any other type of music that one might associate with this type of endeavor.
This is just something I wanted to share with you all. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. Please take a moment to comment, and tell me what kind of music or songs help you through the rough patches. I'd love to hear from you. Have a wonderful week, everybody!
Mazzy Star - Fade Into You
Cracker - Low
Sunday, April 20, 2014
A short message for Easter
I wasn't planning on posting a message today, but this has been on my mind.
Jesus' disciples are very interesting to me for a few reasons. First, they were Jesus' closest companions. Second, they were around Him all the time, so you would think they knew more about His teachings than anyone. Finally, scripture tells us they still messed up all the time. They were very human, just like you or me. They made mistakes, got scared, and felt hopeless even after everything He had already told them.
On the day we call Good Friday, the day was anything but good for the disciples. Their entire world was shattered. From their point of view--on that day--their lives were completely in shambles. Their teacher, leader, and mentor died. The King had passed, and yes, he would rise on Sunday, but that event had not happened yet. For the disciples, the authorities were coming after them, people despised them, and the one person they needed the most was not with them. For those days between Jesus' passing and resurrection, the disciples were just a bunch of scared, hopeless, and completely defeated individuals. They were trapped in the most desperate situation imaginable, with no foreseeable way out.
Then, their Lord rose again. Life was beautiful and hopeful once again. They would go out and preach the gospel to the world. Their lives, arguably, had more meaning than they could have ever believed was possible in their previous lives. This is why we celebrate Easter. Death, sin, and the devil himself have been defeated. Our lives are made new, glorious, and complete through Jesus Christ. This is also the reason the day of our Lord and Savior's death is called Good.
Now to the message: Jesus has risen, yet I think a lot of us forget that He is risen. Many of us--myself included--get so caught up in our own junk, we live our lives more like the disciples did during those dark days when their Savior was sitting in a grave. We live in fear, despair, and hopelessness, unable to see any foreseeable way out of our dire situations. Our minds go to a dark place for so long that we forget everything else. Everything we have learned, everything we have been told, everything we know to be the truth is forgotten. In those moments, hope is not gone, but hope is so far off of our radar that we can't see it an inch in front of our faces.
Darkness is no more. Fear is no more. Death and sin have been defeated. My prayer is that we all find our way out of the darkness and set our sights on the hope set before us. We know Jesus is risen. The disciples had to wait. We know Jesus saves, so there is always reason to have hope. In our weakness, He makes us strong. Do not lose sight of the things that are truly important in life. There will always be struggles, but you can overcome.
Believe me, I know. I spent a giant chunk of my life living in darkness, hating the world, and hating my life. Today, I am in a completely different place. Life is amazing; I believe all of our lives are. I pray you never get so lost in hopelessness that you don't get a chance to see the miracles just ahead. I pray you know your life has been made new. Today is another opportunity to start fresh. Above all, I pray you have complete peace, love, and joy in your life from this day forward. Be blessed, my friends, now and always, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Jesus' disciples are very interesting to me for a few reasons. First, they were Jesus' closest companions. Second, they were around Him all the time, so you would think they knew more about His teachings than anyone. Finally, scripture tells us they still messed up all the time. They were very human, just like you or me. They made mistakes, got scared, and felt hopeless even after everything He had already told them.
On the day we call Good Friday, the day was anything but good for the disciples. Their entire world was shattered. From their point of view--on that day--their lives were completely in shambles. Their teacher, leader, and mentor died. The King had passed, and yes, he would rise on Sunday, but that event had not happened yet. For the disciples, the authorities were coming after them, people despised them, and the one person they needed the most was not with them. For those days between Jesus' passing and resurrection, the disciples were just a bunch of scared, hopeless, and completely defeated individuals. They were trapped in the most desperate situation imaginable, with no foreseeable way out.
Then, their Lord rose again. Life was beautiful and hopeful once again. They would go out and preach the gospel to the world. Their lives, arguably, had more meaning than they could have ever believed was possible in their previous lives. This is why we celebrate Easter. Death, sin, and the devil himself have been defeated. Our lives are made new, glorious, and complete through Jesus Christ. This is also the reason the day of our Lord and Savior's death is called Good.
Now to the message: Jesus has risen, yet I think a lot of us forget that He is risen. Many of us--myself included--get so caught up in our own junk, we live our lives more like the disciples did during those dark days when their Savior was sitting in a grave. We live in fear, despair, and hopelessness, unable to see any foreseeable way out of our dire situations. Our minds go to a dark place for so long that we forget everything else. Everything we have learned, everything we have been told, everything we know to be the truth is forgotten. In those moments, hope is not gone, but hope is so far off of our radar that we can't see it an inch in front of our faces.
Darkness is no more. Fear is no more. Death and sin have been defeated. My prayer is that we all find our way out of the darkness and set our sights on the hope set before us. We know Jesus is risen. The disciples had to wait. We know Jesus saves, so there is always reason to have hope. In our weakness, He makes us strong. Do not lose sight of the things that are truly important in life. There will always be struggles, but you can overcome.
Believe me, I know. I spent a giant chunk of my life living in darkness, hating the world, and hating my life. Today, I am in a completely different place. Life is amazing; I believe all of our lives are. I pray you never get so lost in hopelessness that you don't get a chance to see the miracles just ahead. I pray you know your life has been made new. Today is another opportunity to start fresh. Above all, I pray you have complete peace, love, and joy in your life from this day forward. Be blessed, my friends, now and always, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Discovering new motivation to write
Let me just start off by saying: I love to write. My love of writing has led me to publish two books, with a third on the way. Recently, I needed to take a break from drafting book three. My break ended up being a bit longer than I intended, so I've been very slow to get back to writing. I still love to write; I just find my thoughts and ideas aren't flowing to the page as smoothly as before. Thus, I am in need of motivation.
With my first two books, my best thoughts always came from time spent at the beach. Catching a few waves helped me get the creative juices flowing. Since my second son was born, I can count the number of times I have been to the beach on one hand. This wasn't a problem until I fell into a lull in the middle of drafting book three. So, I have been taking some time to discover some new motivators.
I'm really enjoying this experience. It has been interesting to talk with other writers to find out what helps them stay creative and motivated. I have found that writing something other than what I normally write has been a great help. I spent some time on Wattpad working on poetry, which is definitely not what I normally write (I'll post one of my poems below). Through some of the poems, I have been able to place myself back into my characters shoes and see the world from their perspective. The process has been incredibly insightful.
I have also found that not putting too much emphasis on promoting my other two books has helped me stay in writer mode as well. Promoting is great, and obviously necessary, but I realize now that I need to find some balance between writing and promoting. It's just not good to get so caught up in promoting that you forget to keep writing.
The last thing I have been trying to do is keep enjoying life. I don't know how it is for you, but writing isolates me from the world around me. When I am writing, that is all I am doing. Everything else falls away. It's good to get away from the computer and live life, spend time with family and friends, and leave some of that stress behind. Sad that I needed to be reminded to live, but glad I learned that lesson now instead of later.
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant about this for a little bit. I'd love to hear how you keep yourself motivated to keep writing. Please leave a comment below. Keep writing, my friends. Have a wonderful week!
As promised, here is one of the poems I wrote to get back in the swing of things:
Darkness Within
Deep within the recesses of my mind,
the darkness no longer tries to hide.
Like venom, the memories run through my veins.
Driving my mind insane,
filling my soul with pain,
leaving me desperately looking for someone but myself to blame,
destroying every cell of hope in my body,
until only a shell remains.
Why can't I think of better days...
Do normal people replay every hurt in their head,
while roaming through life like the walking dead?
Why, why, why do I?
Why can't I be like them instead?
Instead of this hollow shell, a reminder of what could've been.
A monument to pain, the type hidden deep within.
Hidden from the prying eyes of a society that looks away, anyway.
Yet, finds entertainment in other people's pain.
With my first two books, my best thoughts always came from time spent at the beach. Catching a few waves helped me get the creative juices flowing. Since my second son was born, I can count the number of times I have been to the beach on one hand. This wasn't a problem until I fell into a lull in the middle of drafting book three. So, I have been taking some time to discover some new motivators.
I'm really enjoying this experience. It has been interesting to talk with other writers to find out what helps them stay creative and motivated. I have found that writing something other than what I normally write has been a great help. I spent some time on Wattpad working on poetry, which is definitely not what I normally write (I'll post one of my poems below). Through some of the poems, I have been able to place myself back into my characters shoes and see the world from their perspective. The process has been incredibly insightful.
I have also found that not putting too much emphasis on promoting my other two books has helped me stay in writer mode as well. Promoting is great, and obviously necessary, but I realize now that I need to find some balance between writing and promoting. It's just not good to get so caught up in promoting that you forget to keep writing.
The last thing I have been trying to do is keep enjoying life. I don't know how it is for you, but writing isolates me from the world around me. When I am writing, that is all I am doing. Everything else falls away. It's good to get away from the computer and live life, spend time with family and friends, and leave some of that stress behind. Sad that I needed to be reminded to live, but glad I learned that lesson now instead of later.
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant about this for a little bit. I'd love to hear how you keep yourself motivated to keep writing. Please leave a comment below. Keep writing, my friends. Have a wonderful week!
As promised, here is one of the poems I wrote to get back in the swing of things:
Darkness Within
Deep within the recesses of my mind,
the darkness no longer tries to hide.
Like venom, the memories run through my veins.
Driving my mind insane,
filling my soul with pain,
leaving me desperately looking for someone but myself to blame,
destroying every cell of hope in my body,
until only a shell remains.
Why can't I think of better days...
Do normal people replay every hurt in their head,
while roaming through life like the walking dead?
Why, why, why do I?
Why can't I be like them instead?
Instead of this hollow shell, a reminder of what could've been.
A monument to pain, the type hidden deep within.
Hidden from the prying eyes of a society that looks away, anyway.
Yet, finds entertainment in other people's pain.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Creating a Ripple
Events from this past week have me thinking about the ripple effect. All of us who serve others hope to see the ripple effect in action, though we do not always get to see the fruits of our labor. I definitely believe in the ripple effect. I firmly believe one small act of kindness can lead others to pay the act forward; therefore, our actions have a much bigger effect on the world around us than most of us realize. However, truth be told, I cannot say with any certainty that I have witnessed the ripple effect as much as I wish.
This completely changed this week, and I just want to take a moment to share this tiny event with you. I went out for Breakfast Burrito Ministry, as usual. I met a lot of the regulars and talked story with them. As usual, I had to drive around town to find some of the other folks who prefer to stay hidden. Along the way, I noticed many new faces. This is not unusual. I tend to see more new faces when the weather gets warmer.
One of the new faces was going through the garbage at a 7-11. I hopped out of my car to offer him a burrito and a water. He was very happy to get a warm meal. He also wanted to talk for a minute, so I happily obliged. During our short conversation, a construction worker walked by us. The construction worker gave me a weird look - which is also not unusual, and then went into the store. I was about to head back out to see who else I could find. As I was getting into my car, the construction worker walked out of the 7-11, looked at me one more time, smiled, and then went over to the man and asked him if he could buy him something to eat or drink for later.
It was amazing. The construction worker went in and bought him a couple of things, came back out, gave me a nod, handed the guy some food and drinks, and then took off. I had finally seen something other than dirty looks and condescending stares. This construction worker saw what I was doing, and he wanted to do the same. Moreover, he did so expecting nothing in return. It really blessed me to see someone else do something for the homeless. I only hope others will do the same.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you all. Sometimes it feels like our efforts don't help at all, but we don't always know how we are creating change in the world around us. If you can make a difference in the life of even one individual, I believe it is completely worth it. To see others try to help is also pretty incredible. Keep at it. It's been over year since I have seen anything besides people giving me dirty looks or making rude comments about helping those in need that they perceive as unworthy, but every so often you see something amazing that shows you that it is all worth it.
Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful week, everyone!
This completely changed this week, and I just want to take a moment to share this tiny event with you. I went out for Breakfast Burrito Ministry, as usual. I met a lot of the regulars and talked story with them. As usual, I had to drive around town to find some of the other folks who prefer to stay hidden. Along the way, I noticed many new faces. This is not unusual. I tend to see more new faces when the weather gets warmer.
One of the new faces was going through the garbage at a 7-11. I hopped out of my car to offer him a burrito and a water. He was very happy to get a warm meal. He also wanted to talk for a minute, so I happily obliged. During our short conversation, a construction worker walked by us. The construction worker gave me a weird look - which is also not unusual, and then went into the store. I was about to head back out to see who else I could find. As I was getting into my car, the construction worker walked out of the 7-11, looked at me one more time, smiled, and then went over to the man and asked him if he could buy him something to eat or drink for later.
It was amazing. The construction worker went in and bought him a couple of things, came back out, gave me a nod, handed the guy some food and drinks, and then took off. I had finally seen something other than dirty looks and condescending stares. This construction worker saw what I was doing, and he wanted to do the same. Moreover, he did so expecting nothing in return. It really blessed me to see someone else do something for the homeless. I only hope others will do the same.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you all. Sometimes it feels like our efforts don't help at all, but we don't always know how we are creating change in the world around us. If you can make a difference in the life of even one individual, I believe it is completely worth it. To see others try to help is also pretty incredible. Keep at it. It's been over year since I have seen anything besides people giving me dirty looks or making rude comments about helping those in need that they perceive as unworthy, but every so often you see something amazing that shows you that it is all worth it.
Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful week, everyone!
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