Reaching out to those on the fringes

A month ago, I started a new ministry that serves the homeless in my community. I fund the program with my own money from odd jobs and sales of my book BEYOND HEIGHTS AND DEPTHS. I basically hand out egg and cheese burritos and bottles of water to folks I meet around town. The majority of those I reach out to are drug addicts, have mental health issues, or a combination of the two. Men, women, young, and old, I try to reach as many of them as possible on a weekly basis.

The decision to do this came about when I was thinking about how many times I wished someone would help all of these folks I would see around town. I realized I was complaining about the lack of help, but I was not doing anything to help. I spent a huge part of my adolescence living on the streets, showering at beaches, and figuring out where my next meal would come from. I battled addiction. I could relate to them, yet I was not doing anything to help. So, with the help of my wife and a couple of friends, I set out to reach the one group of people in my community that no one wants to.

The response has been amazing. In the first week, I only managed to reach 5 people. By the second week, that number doubled, and by the third, the number of people more than tripled. It's been a blessing for me to help. For a short time, their day is a little better. They don't have to worry about one meal. One of the most common responses I get is: For a little while, they don't feel like they are being ignored. For a little while, someone talks to them like they are human again. In the end, isn't that what we all want? We want to be treated kindly. We want someone to acknowledge our existence. We want to be treated like a human being.

Interestingly, the only complaints I get are usually from behind barely opened windows of European SUV's. They like to yell about helping people they do not feel deserve help. Of course, they don't want to be seen, so they barely open their windows, and then speed off. Never once has any of them ever come out of their beautiful, air-conditioned, leather interior vehicle to talk to me face-to-face. Funny how those who have plenty like to decide for everyone else who does or does not deserve help.

For me, it does not hurt me in any way to help someone out in a small way, show some compassion to those who are less fortunate, or feed someone who hasn't eaten in days. It's not much, but I hope I will be able to expand this endeavor into something that benefits even more people. If nothing else, I hope others will be inspired to help people in need, wherever they are in the world.

When my work intersects with popular horror

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about my work in ministry intersecting with my work of fiction. I enjoy talking with people who want to separate facts from fiction. It's interesting to talk with people about subjects that don't normally come up in every day ministry. One  thing I did not anticipate is the phenomenon that occurs every time a new horror movie is released. Every time a new horror movie is released, I receive calls from people with questions about ghosts, hauntings, demonic possession, and in the most extreme cases, all of them at the same time.

I write about supernatural subjects, which often fall into the subject of horror. This, plus my work in ministry, leads people to me for various concerns. I have no problems talking about what I believe versus do not believe. I don't mind talking with people about subjects that other people in ministry would shy away from. I think it's important to answer the questions people have. If we don't, then they are forced to seek answers elsewhere, and answers elsewhere could be even more problematic, like believing horror movies are real.

Let me just say I do not have issues with people watching horror movies. I do enjoy the genre. I don't watch as many horror films as I used to, but I do keep up with what's popular. I am not one of those pastors who will condemn a person for his/her preference of movies. However, if watching a horror movie causes you to believe you are haunted and/or possessed, then you probably should NOT watch any horror movies. If a movie can scare you to a point where you need to seek help to deal with what you saw, then maybe you need to question your choice in movies.

Seriously, I have even had a person I barely knew come up to me and ask point blank, "Do you think I'm possessed because I think I might be?" Talk about an awkward way to start a conversation. Look, I get it. One of the issues I do have with certain horror movies is the amount of realism they provide, but I'll leave that for another blog post. The fact is of the numerous people who have asked me if I thought they were being haunted and/or possessed, only one or two has ever had a serious problem that had to be dealt with. The rest were just really scared individuals looking for a supernatural solution to explain their heightened fear from watching a scary movie.

Keep in mind that movies are created to entertain, not necessarily educate. Scary movies are meant to be, well, in one word: scary. If watching something scary will inevitably scare you to a point where you cannot live life normally as a result, then my recommendation is to avoid watching the movie, show, special, documentary, or whatever it is altogether. Your overall well-being is a much higher priority than any form of entertainment. Make good choices, but always know, even if you don't, and you still need someone to talk to, feel free to join my ever growing crowd of scared individuals seeking answers.

Timing: The excuse to cover all excuses

Before I begin, let me say up front that I believe timing is absolutely vital, especially for astronauts, racers, and even bakers. My concern is when timing is used as an excuse. If I had a nickel for every time I have heard someone say, "The timing wasn't right," I would be a rich man. I like to tell friends who use timing as an excuse that the key to timing is being in the right place at the right time. Unfortunately, many people stand on the sidelines watching the time pass by.

It's like going to a job interview, staring at the front door until it's too late, then deciding not to go in at all because you missed the appointment standing outside. Sure, you could've gone in, but now timing is your excuse. I once had a friend in high school who never went out on dates, like, at all. The thing about him was he would always say he was waiting for the right time to ask a particular girl out, and then he wouldn't ask her out at all. He would come back and say the time wasn't right. Well, four years passed by, and the timing was never right, or at least his version of right.

Sometimes you have to go out there and go for whatever it is you are trying to achieve. I completely understand if the timing really isn't right, but please do not use timing as an excuse to never try. Life really is too short for that kind of thinking. Every day I talk to people who have hopes, dreams, and life goals that they are waiting for the right time to chase. For many of them, the time will never be right. All of those hopes, dreams, and goals will go unaccomplished, and at some later time you can be sure they will say, "The timing wasn't right."

I know, thus far it sounds like I am ranting, but it breaks my heart to know many people will never live life to the fullest because they are waiting for the right time to live. I meet people who want to travel, do art, save the world, feed the homeless, write books, build houses, and spend more time with their children, but they are hoping they will be able to later. "Work is too important right now" and "I'll have more time later," they say. The truth is time is not on our side. Time goes on whether we want it to or not.

The saddest fact in my life is the amount of people I know who have passed away. Nearly everyone I grew up with is no longer with us. The one thing they all had in common was the desire to accomplish something in their lives that will forever go unfinished. The books they were going to write, songs they were going to sing, family they were going to love, friends they were going to share memories with, and places they were going to see will never happen. Their time on this planet of ours is done. It saddens me to think about how wonderful it would have been for them had they been able to accomplish even one or two of the things on their list.

Timing is important, and if your life and/or career is reliant on excellent timing, then please do not abandon timing. However, it is my hope that we can all stop using timing as an excuse for the things in our life that we fail to accomplish. Sometimes the timing really isn't right, but don't let that prevent you from trying again or trying at all. The timing may never be EXACTLY right. Live the best life you can. No one wants to reach the end of their life and carry more regrets than memories. Always do your best to really live.

When my work and works of fiction intersect

A few months back I tweeted about my work in ministry intersecting with my work of fiction. It seems to be happening more as time goes on. I think it's good that people have questions after they read my book. That is part of the reason I decided to publish at all. It's fun to talk with people who want to separate fact from fiction.

I work in ministry, but I write works of fiction about angels, demons, and various other supernatural subjects. There's bound to be some questions. I have some of the most interesting conversations with people who read the book, and then come out with questions guns blazing. The reality is part of the reason I write fiction is to talk about things I am unable to explain. I mean, that is the beauty of writing, right? I get the chance to bring a story to life, explain the unexplained, and create a world different from our own.

I am often asked, "Do you believe in angels and demons?" The simple answer is yes I do. Do I believe that they fight each other? Of course, I do. However, do I believe they act, talk, and function in the way I describe in my books? Do they do battle with golden weapons, traveling at speeds faster than the human eye can see, leaving nothing but fire, dust, and ash behind? Well, this is the part where fiction comes in. This is why I love writing. I get the chance to take something I believe in and create a story around it.

I have seen a lot of crazy things over the years. I've seen the miraculous occur more than once. I have also witnessed things that I thought could only exist in works of horror. Some of them I wish I could simply explain away and never think about again. Writing provides an outlet for me to work through all these crazy things. I suppose I could write non-fiction, but where is the fun in that?

At the end of the day, my books are meant to entertain. The idea that they are creating dialogue with people I wouldn't normally interact with is an added bonus. I'm enjoying these conversations, so please keep the questions coming. I'm so glad people are enjoying the first book so much that they want to know more. For all of you wondering, the sequel to Beyond Heights and Depths will be released later this year.

The power of words

We all have been told since we were young that our words have power. Words have the power to hurt and to heal, to do both good and bad. With our words, we can build people up, or we can tear them down. How unfortunate that so many prefer the latter. Put simply, this should not be. I would venture to say that nearly all of us have been on the other end of someone's hurtful comments, yet I would also guess that nearly all of us are still guilty of letting those kind of words come out of our mouth.

The thing I want everyone--myself included--to keep in mind is if someone hears enough negative words about him or herself they start to believe those words are true, whether it is the truth or not. It's strange how lies can become the truth if enough people believe them. I have met far too many youth who are terribly damaged because of the things others have said or continue to say about them. I have met far too many adults who are still dealing with the effects of such treatment many years later. The truth is your words do have power, and as we can learn from Spider Man--or Voltaire, if you prefer, "With great power comes great responsibility."

I also want you to keep in mind that your words are not only capable of tearing others down, or building others up; the words you speak into your own life have the power to do both good and bad. If you say you are not good enough too many times, then you start to believe it. If you believe you are completely incapable of accomplishing anything, you are already defeated. You are speaking negativity into your life. You are giving those words power over you, and it won't matter how many times others try to encourage you or build you up because you have already passed judgement on yourself. It is incredibly difficult for people to learn to see themselves as good when they believe they are not.

Seriously, no one is better at tearing me down than I am at tearing myself down. There's a reason solitary confinement is used as punishment in prisons. Too much time alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company is a dangerous thing. Your mind becomes the prison. You spend all your time nitpicking at yourself, dwelling on the negative, tearing yourself down, and you can't runaway from yourself. I've done this to myself way too many times. Best not to get caught up in this vicious cycle.

Do not live your life with a defeated attitude. Do everything you can to speak positivity into your life, and as much as possible, do the same for others. There will always be people out there who make themselves feel good at the expense of others. Don't add to that mix. You are all good enough. You all have a purpose. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

From Darkness to Light: Cybil's Message

This week I am incredibly blessed to share the testimony of my friend Cybil with you. She presented this talk just over a week ago at her church. To say she has been through a lot is not nearly enough. I don't want to give away too much. She will talk about what she has overcome in this short video. I admire her strength and willingness to share what she has been through with others. The reality is there are many people who can relate to her story, so I hope this video will reach someone out there who needs to hear it. Her message is one of hope, love, and grace. She has overcome the stuff of nightmares, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to share her story with others.

Forgiveness is divine, but it sure is difficult

I'm sure you have all heard the old saying, "To err is human; to forgive, divine," by Alexander Pope. Basically, this phrase means we all make mistakes, so we should also be willing to forgive others. I believe this to be true, of course. However, in all honesty, I can admit that forgiving others is not my strong suit. I'm working on it, but I still have a long way to go.

I've been thinking about this phrase over the last few weeks. I know I am supposed to forgive others, but sometimes I forget. I know what you are thinking. Yes, I work in ministry, so I should know better. I'll let you in on a little secret: ministers are just like everybody else. We are all a work in progress. We all make mistakes. I, too, am prone to holding grudges for a little while.

Now, as to why I'm writing this post. A few months ago, I tried to help a family member out with a money problem--major red flag. Anyway, I tried to help her out, but things went wrong very quickly once greed came into play. Needless to say, I did my best to see things through, but at great personal cost. Not only did she try to rip me off, but when that didn't work, she resorted to insulting me and making slanderous comments about me and anyone who was not on her side. I got angry, very angry, angry in a way that I did not think I could get anymore, which was scary.

I felt the best course of action was to not talk to this person any longer. Our business concluded, and I felt much better not having to talk to this person. Unfortunately, you can't avoid people forever. Two weeks ago, I had to attend a family party with this person. She did not talk to anyone, and no one made any effort to talk to her. I thought this would make me feel better, but I actually felt worse, so I went ahead and talked to her. I chose to forgive and move on, and you know what, it made me feel a whole lot better. I felt free; in fact, I still feel free: free of negativity, free of the burden of holding a grudge, and free of anger.

When I work in ministry, I often have to remind people about forgiveness. We have been forgiven; therefore, we must learn to forgive others. In most cases, the major issue people have with forgiving others is that they believe they have a right to hold on to their anger, resentment, and/or hatred of the person who wronged them. The problem is that holding on to those negative feelings often does more harm to the person holding on to them than the person those feelings are directed toward. Hanging on to negativity like that will eventually take their toll on a person. If you can forgive others, then you can let go of all that negativity. In this way, you are free; free of the burden of carrying around all that negativity.

I think we tend to get too caught up in thinking that forgiveness only benefits the other person in some way. A lot of people worry that if we forgive someone who wronged us, then it's like we are saying it's okay for people to treat us that way. This is not true at all. It really does takes a bigger person to forgive. The bigger person is the one that understands that forgiving the person who wronged them is way better than having to carry around all of that negative baggage. A person who can forgive others truly experiences the divine nature of forgiveness because a person who can forgive knows what it really means to be free.