Keep moving forward

Recently, I've been talking to a lot of folks that have me thinking about something. A lot of people I meet are interested in the way I live my life. I try to live life as best I can. I try to learn from everyone and every situation that comes my way. One of the most important things I do is I keep trying.

Sounds simple, right?

I think so, but for some reason, this concept sounds completely foreign to a lot of people. Let me tell you what I mean. More often than not, when people find out I am a writer, they will often tell me about an idea that they have for a story. They also tell me how they are impressed that I have two books out because they aren't sure they could write a book. I try to encourage everyone I meet, so I will usually ask, "Did you ever try?" You know what the most common response is: "No."

If you never try something, how will you ever know if you can do it or not? How about another example? A few weeks ago I decided to try my hand at skimboarding again, a water activity I have not done for over 20 years! Many people I meet on the beach, especially older guys, tell me how much they used to love skimboarding, but they just don't feel like they could do it again. My question for them is the same: How do you know, if you never tried?"

I worry that too many of us give up because we never try. I truly believe in living life to the fullest. We can't do that if we are too afraid to try. Maybe skydiving and extreme sports is too much for most people, but what about the simple things? If you have an idea for a book, you should try writing. I never thought I could write a book. That is the whole reason I did, and now I am about to finish my third book. I wasn't sure if I could skimboard again without seriously hurting myself, but I tried, and now I go all the time. I'm not sure why I ever stopped.

What is something in your life that you could do to make your life fuller, but you are too afraid to try? This week, at least give it another look. Maybe you want to travel, become a chef, write a book, or learn to swim. The possibilities are endless. Whatever you do, keep moving forward, keep trying. It's the advice we give children who are learning something new. I think it is still sound advice for many of us who are adults that are afraid to try.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Finding Christmas Spirit...in July

This past week a friend of mine told me she was watching Keepsake Week on the Hallmark Channel. "Christmas movies were going to be on all week," she said. Normally, the thought of Christmas, especially in July, would be more than enough to drive me insane. However, I've made it a point to learn what I can from every person and situation I come across, so I decided to grit my teeth and take a look. You know what, I actually learned something.

I've talked in previous posts about my dislike of Christmas. Up until a few years ago, I was the biggest Grinch on the planet. My children changed all that. I have been trying my best to provide the best Christmases possible for them. It isn't easy, so I am usually very happy when the season is over. You can imagine how thinking about Christmas in July isn't particularly appealing to me.

Now, back to this past week. What did I learn from watching Christmas movies in the Summer? As much as I dislike Christmas, I still enjoy watching Christmas movies. I did find that watching them in July still felt the same as watching them in December. It felt good to remember the joy of Christmas, even if it is Summer. I think I learned a valuable lesson: you can carry the Spirit of Christmas with you throughout the year.

At Christmastime, we often talk about how we should carry certain aspects of the season with us throughout life. We should always be giving. We should always carry joy with us. You know what I mean? We nod our heads in agreement, but as soon as the season is over, we completely forget. Watching these movies in July reminded me of all of this. Now, I'm not saying I will become one of these folks who tries to keep it Christmas year-round, but I do think we could all benefit from a little Christmas joy once in a while.

I think when it is Christmastime we all try to be a little nicer. We all try to be a little less selfish. We all try to spend time with family and/or friends. We all try to be little happier, even if it is for a short time. Why not try to be the better version of ourselves the whole year? I know, easier said than done. I'm a work in progress, too, but I do think it is worth the effort. Well, these are my thoughts this week. At the very least, it did feel nice to watch some feel-good holiday films for a week. Have a wonderful week, everybody!

Fun parenting moment

This past weekend was my son's last one before the end of his break. He returns to school tomorrow, so no more late night movies, which are his favorite thing to do on the weekends. I let him choose all of his movies this past weekend, and I couldn't have been more happy with his selections! We ended up watching some old school movies that totally reminded me of my childhood. These were movies I loved, and I was very happy to have the chance to watch them with him. I was even more happy to hear how much he loves these movies, too!

The first movie we watched was "The Goonies." I wasn't much older than my son is now when I first saw this movie. Of all the films, this one probably holds the most nostalgia for me. I can remember watching it every day for months on end. Now that I have thought about it, I may have watched this movie more times than any other movie in my lifetime. Back then, I think every kid thought they could go on an adventure just like them - truth be told, I still kind of wish I could.

The second movie we watched was "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I love this movie. I know all of the musical numbers, and who could forget the part of the factory that was edible? The movie is a lot of fun. When I was a kid, it was on television all the time. I'm not sure why, but I'm not complaining. I watched it a lot back then, and I still enjoy watching it now.

The last, of course, was "The Star Wars Trilogy." I have been a Star Wars fan for a very long time, so it was especially nice to hear my son say he liked the movies too. As a child, I had some of the toys, the lunch box, and blanket. I still have some movie items around my house. Those movies just never get old. I love them as much now as I did then. I'm also excited that they are going to make new ones pretty soon.

Honestly, I love every moment with my children. I'm a proud parent all the time, but there is something special about being able to share something with them from my childhood. It's also nice when they enjoy something from my childhood, too. I'm not sure how much of it is actually like it was back then, with editing, commercials, and humor from a totally different time, but it is still a fun experience - one of many that I cherish. So, that's my fun parenting moment. What are some of yours? What movies take you back? Which ones do you like to share with loved ones? Tell me about them. I'd love to hear from you.

Father's Day 2014

Father's Day really isn't my thing. However, I wanted to talk a little bit about why, instead of make people guess. I don't want to take up too much of your time, so I'll keep this post short.

Father's Day has always been a weird holiday for me. I normally don't think much about it, even though I am a father myself. Don't get me wrong, I love the gifts I get from my children, but for me it is important to be a part of their lives every day anyway. Today, I am seeing all the posts, updates, tweets, and messages everyone is putting up for their fathers. I see the joy in what they are sharing, but that is not my experience.

As far back as I can remember, I do not remember Father's Day being a big deal. I wouldn't say my relationship with my own father as a child was what I would consider good. I don't have the fond memories that others have. Usually, when I am asked to give a talk on Father's Day, I go with the "God is the only father you need" talk. However, as I think about things today, I realize my dad taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned about being a father: Be there for you children, always.

My children are everything to me, and that is the way it should be. So, let me take this opportunity to wish all the amazing fathers out there a Happy Father's Day! Keep doing what you are doing. I know Mother's Day is the big show and Father's Day always plays second string, but you should be recognized for being a good father, because let's face it, there are a lot of crappy dads out there that make everyone else look bad. Enjoy your day my friends, and have a wonderful week!

Versatile Blogger Award and 7 Things About Me

I need to thank two people, Christina Zarella (http://turbulenceintheveins.blogspot.com/) and Claudia Burgoa (http://www.claudiayburgoa.com), for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award! It’s nice to know that people read my blog. If you haven’t heard about the Versatile Blogger Award, you can find out more here: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/

My nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award include, in no particular order, the following bloggers:
  
Gina Stoneheart -  http://www.dawningonanewday.blogspot.com

Rob Distaffen  - http://rdistaffen.blogspot.com

Karen Pilarski - http://karenpilarski.blogspot.com/
 
Rachel Thompson - http://rachelintheoc.com

Lelani Black - http://www.lelaniblack.com/

Stephanie Neighbour - http://stephanieneighbour.com

Debbie Vega - http://debravega.wordpress.com/

Roz and Patty - http://rozandpattywrite.blogspot.com/

Bruce Van Horn - http://www.brucevanhorn.com/

Seven Things About Me...

1. I was born and raised on the Island of Oahu in the State of Hawaii, but most of my family is made up of immigrants from all over the place.

2. I only planned on writing one book, but now I am almost done with my third book.

3. I used to fall asleep every time I watched the first Harry Potter movie. One day my wife made me stay up to watch it. I have been a fan ever since.

4.  When I was young I got caught up in gangs and drugs, and consequently, spent most of my young life out on the streets.

5. I am an ordained minister.

6. I almost died in a horrible car wreck when I was 19. I fell asleep behind the wheel and was nearly decapitated by a dump truck. I broke my neck and back, but I was able to walk out of the hospital on my own. That's my faith story.

7. I've been called many things in my lifetime, and without a doubt, "Daddy" is my absolute favorite.

The right words to say

I've been thinking about a recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about working with people - lately, I have been helping a few close friends work through some of the most difficult situations any person could ever go through. This friend of mine mentioned how he could never do the kind of work I do because he could never think of the right things to say in any of those situations.

I was flattered that he thought so highly of me, but I had to tell him: most of the time, there are no right words to say. There are no words that will make it all better. Sometimes things are so bad that there is nothing to say at all. Sometimes speaking will only make the pain worse. In these instances, attempting to offer the right words to someone may be the worse thing you can do.

"So, what do you do?" he asked. More often than not, just being there is enough. Sometimes all a person needs or wants is a shoulder to cry on, and I am more than willing to offer the two that I possess. In many cases, listening is of much greater importance than speaking. You might not know the right words to say, but you can always listen. We also have arms that can hold a person, pat a person on the back, or offer a consoling hug, which can be a lot more comforting than having the right words to say.

I also believe your heart has to be in the right place. People can tell if you really have a heart for them or if you are just acting like you care. At my church, we often say: "we celebrate with those who are celebrating, weep with those who are weeping, and mourn with those who are mourning. We live life together, both the highs and the lows." That is the way I deal with everyone in my life. You have to have a heart for people, or you are really doing more damage than good.

I wish I had the right words to say to fix any situation in life. The fact is: I don't; no one does. Don't let that deter you from helping people. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me, "Thanks for being there." I can tell you exactly how many times someone has told me thanks for having exactly the right words to say: zero. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to check out this post. Have a wonderful week everyone!

The healing power of music

The last few weeks have left me feeling like a bundle of mixed emotions. To say they were difficult does not even scratch the surface. I had wonderful opportunities to speak with old friends, one whom I have known for over twenty years. Unfortunately, my old friends were dealing with some of the worst possible things in their lives. In fact, in one case, it was the worst I have ever heard.

Dealing with such issues is a joy and a burden. I am always glad to help, even if all they need is someone to talk to. I would never turn any of them away. On the flip side of that coin, I am often left feeling traumatized from the experience. Sometimes it takes a while for me to work through everything in my own head.

Of all the tools I have, I find music to be one of the most therapeutic. There is something about music that is absolutely healing. As I was pondering this, I received the meme I posted above. Music really does have the power to help in a way that nothing else does. So, music is where I turned to this past weekend.

I took some time to listen to and enjoy some of the music we enjoyed in the 90's. I took some time to enjoy the memories the songs brought up of better days. You know what, it really helps. Few things in the world help me through the dark times the way music does. I'm going to post a couple of the songs I have been listening to below. Many of you will crack up at my choice of songs this particular time, but I just want you to see that I wasn't listening to classical, new age, or any other type of music that one might associate with this type of endeavor.

This is just something I wanted to share with you all. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. Please take a moment to comment, and tell me what kind of music or songs help you through the rough patches. I'd love to hear from you. Have a wonderful week, everybody!


Mazzy Star - Fade Into You



Cracker - Low